Because I Want to Stay Pale and Glossy Forever

I just bought this.
I had been wanting a lip gloss with SPF protection for a while and this was a pretty good price. And it's Neutrogena so I was pretty sure it would be nice and moisturizing. It is a little sticky but it's still pretty nice. There are colors that have a bit more shimmer to them, if that's your thing. I like it sometimes, but I chose to go shine-not-shimmer with this one. I still have my eye on MAC's tinted lip conditioner with SPF. Here's hoping it shows up in my stocking this Christmas.

Not Today, But Someday

When I am pregnant, I would like to invest in something like this.

Especially if I am pregnant in the winter... It looks cozy, soft, comfortable, chic. Most of all, it seems like something that could "grow with me" and do a good job minimizing the belly. But let's be realistic. I know there is no miracle article of clothing that will make me look like I'm not pregnant when I am 3 weeks away from delivering. But these seem a little cuter than just sweats and college hoodies. With the deep V neck, you can wear a pretty color underneath and feel slenderized by the black, without feeling like you have to say good-bye to bright colors altogether.

A Rule

I keep thinking about that teal coat I posted here a while back. I keep wanting it. So, the other day I thought I would check to see when I originally posted it, lusting after it. I told myself that unless it had been at least two weeks, I couldn't justify buying it (or asking Santa for it). When I checked, it had been three weeks.
Three weeks and still wanting. I would say that's a pretty good rule. Although I am starting to wonder if maybe I will feel dumb after the colorful coat trend passes... Will I someday be embarrassed that I have a turquoise coat? Will it become the acid washed, elastic cuffed jeans of tomorrow?
I am not sure. But today I was playing around and I made this. Here is that coat, with that purse, with jeans and boots that I already have. *sigh*

Eureka

I think I may have found my new purse. It might be perfect. I am still deliberating, but chances are, this will be the one.
I decided to stay with neutrals for my handbag because I am really into colorful clothes and coats right now. My purse needs to be versatile.
What do you think? Does it look old lady-ish? I kind of think the grommets help keep it fresh. And the slight slouchiness and the stitching...I think it is a good fit for me.

Something Else I Wish I Hadn't Seen

This is an unfortunate picture. I mean, unless you want to go out dressed like a bowl of oatmeal, why wouldn't you add some color to this?? That is one of the great things about this blazer - it goes with everything! Not just other beiges.
Anyway, that very picture may be why it hasn't sold so well and why it is on a huge discount right now. I kind of wish I hadn't seen that it was on sale because my money is very budgeted right now. I hardly have enough to buy everyone Christmas presents.
So, right now all I can do is dream. Well, I guess that's what this blog is for.

Cozy Up

I really like these throw blankets from Pottery Barn. I am amazed at how real they look. Imagine cozying up with one of these on a snowy day. Of course, we can't afford one right now. And my dog would probably get into a fight with it.

You Better Put on That Party Dress

OK, so to tell the honest truth, I really have no need for a party dress at this point in my life. But oh, how I would love to have one. Not only that, I would love to be invited to or host a holiday party that required a beautiful party dress.
I was going to Banana Republic to check out some of their jewelry and on the first page of the women's category, I saw this.
Sweet mother of pearl. Immediately I thought, "I might need this". EVEN THOUGH I have really been craving a lovely shade of emerald, with gold and black accessories.... mmm. Purple might just be the right thing to stand out amongst all the red and green at the holidays.

However,

I went to the dresses section, scrolled down a bit and saw this.
Caribbean forest. Granted, it's not quite the "emerald" shade I was imagining, but it is very lovely. And actually, the slight muted-ness of it is kind of nice.

You thought that was the end? I scrolled down further and saw this.
Oh, BR. Why do you have to do this to me? Make this beautifully-cut dress in a pretty satin fabric in 3 different colors that I could love.
I'll get back to you about the jewelry... yeah... still drooling.

I'm Reaching a Point

I have begun dreaming about hanging out with people. Like, not day-dreaming/wishful thinking. My subconscious, when I sleep - I am having dreams about socializing with people. One night, Michael Phelps was there, believe it or not. And yes, he was fully clothed. Another time, I dreamed I was hanging out with some people from my high school, whom I really haven't spoken to in ages.
I am a widow to my husband's law program. Did I mention this already? Hmmm... Well, he works during the day and goes to school at night. So I am bored and lonely. Anytime I get a chance to hang out with him, I talk his ear off. I cannot stop chatting. I just go most days without saying much to anyone.
Today I spent some time with a few girls and was surprised by how much I talked, especially for having met one girl once, one girl twice, and the other never before.

Visual

I love seeing things visually. This year for Christmas, I decided to organize the things I want/need in a sort of collage. I had so much fun doing it that I decided to make one for my husband too. His parents always ask what we want for Christmas and we never really know what to tell them. So this time, I am prepared. Immature, I suppose. But we probably won't end up asking for all of these things. It is just so fun to look at!

Here's mine.

Here's his. Honestly, I kind of wish all my loved ones would do this for me!

La Vie en Rose

Yesterday as I was driving home from work, everything was so beautiful and almost rosy tinted. Dusk was gradually falling, the moon was high and full, the sky was pinkish-gray, with streaks of blue-gray clouds. Even the bare brown trees looked rosy. I was listening to Rogue Wave - Out of the Shadow and everything was so lovely and I was nearly brought to tears.
I started to think, "Is this really my life? Do I really live in a place this awesome?" And I started thinking about my husband and my dog and everything was perfect. This is going to be the best winter of my life, I thought.

Why, Yes I Have!

In response to the question: "Have you gained weight?"
I know. Not something you would like to hear or say. But I am trying to accept it and be OK with it. You see, it has been a struggle to get myself to gain some much-needed weight. I guess I'll just be honest about it - the day before my wedding, I was about 104 pounds. I am 5' 7". I am emerging from a period of my life spent under a cloud. I was depressed. Really depressed. And I also struggled with body image and weight issues. I have always been thin but when I graduated from high school, at my fighting weight and in great shape, I hung around 112-115. I had no issues back then. I am not entirely sure how this happened, but the depression I link to birth control pills. They may not be wholly to blame, but there is evidence out there and women who claim that it makes them depressed. Perhaps I am prone to it because my mother has taken anti-depressants for awhile.
I am very happy with my marriage and I have a good relationship with my husband, but I will say that college was less fun once I got married, so maybe that had something to do with it. In college, you are surrounded by friends and parties all the time. But when you get married, you live one person - a boy. No girlfriends to stay up late chatting or make complete idiots of yourself and laugh about it later. It's an adjustment, to say the least.
Anyway, I think I am better now for the most part. I mean, of course I still have "those days" but everyone does and I am more on track with what normal people feel, I think.

Last night at a friend's house, I weighed myself and I am 115. I will need to watch it a bit to stay here but I am telling myself that this is a good place to be, on the scale.

Once Upon a Time

I said in my last post that I had just undergone a sort of fashion overhaul. I was hesitant to post this, but this is my "honest" blog. Plus, I have basically no readership yet.

So, anyway, I used to dress badly. I mean, there were times that I would dress up and look nice and fairly put-together. But I still didn't really have good style, if any at all. I was like a really bad episode of What Not to Wear, and by "really bad" I mean that it was just NEVER. ENDING. I didn't have Stacy and Clinton to snap some sense into me. Until one day, when I did. I started watching the show this summer and soon became addicted.

Anyway, let's not go into detail about how many hours I have spent learning about style in a short amount of time. But it was about time. I started to realize that I was done with college and couldn't get away with wearing jeans and hoodies and t-shirts all the time.

So let's look back at an outfit that used to be quite common for me.

This would often be worn with an over sized boys' track jacket and perhaps a rolled bandanna on my wild curls, when it was short. Oh, and my go-with-everything shoe (of the past) - my standby black Etnies skate shoe. Those pants were about 3 sizes too big. I never knew what size I was. And I always thought wearing pants that "fit" were going to be uncomfortable. Just, FYI -- they are not. All I can say is I must have had a heck of a personality because I really never had trouble finding guys that enjoyed being with me. This is the girl my husband fell in love with.
Let me add that once I got engaged, my husband started to gently encourage my wearing clothes that fit and looked a little nicer. And no, I did not get offended.

So, here's what I wore the other day. I wore the pants with a different shirt to work, but then I got this new shirt in the mail so I wore it to a friend's baby shower that night.

Tweed pants, gold ballet flats. Um yeah. Different. I am not sure if my legs are really as big as they look in this picture. At first I thought it must just be the angle, but maybe I have gained weight (my husband and I don't have a scale). Oh well. That's irrelevant.

"Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving"

Sometimes I can't wait to grow up. OK, I'll admit my age. I'm 22. Sometimes I stress about getting old and how I will never look this good again and I'm going to get fat and wrinkly, etc. But it seems like lately, age isn't what it used to be. People are even going so far as to say "40 is the new 20". I kind of want to believe that.
There are some things that I look forward to about getting older. I sometimes feel like I don't get as much respect or people don't take me seriously because of my age. But more than that, I think there's a sense of self that comes with age. A certain wisdom and comfort in your own skin.

I go through identity crises regularly and I hope that as I get older, those will eventually diminish and perhaps disappear altogether. I don't know how to pinpoint myself. What defines me? Part of me has always liked being a little eclectic, hard to pigeon-hole and unpredictable. I suppose I will always enjoy being a little unpredictable. It's a sign of well-roundedness, right? And the feminine mystique . . .

What I hope happens is that I feel comfortable and confident in my thirties. Come into my own, really know who I am and what I like. My style has undergone a major overhaul and I am reinventing myself a little this year. Just working towards the "knowing who I am" stage in life, I guess. Let's just hope I can age gracefully (heck, I have eschewed the sun enough! It better pay off).

Remember When. . .

A while back, I posted a ring that I saw and loved. It was way out of my price range and I didn't even feel like I could ask for it for Christmas. It's the kind of frivolous, fabulous, huge cocktail ring that I had never worn before and couldn't justify the $140 price tag (even if someone else was doing the buying).

This past weekend, I decided to take a gander at Etsy to see what kind of cocktail rings people have. I am not yet a frequenter of Etsy because I just don't think of it and haven't gotten familiar with the system or favorite sellers, etc. I don't usually know what to look for.

I was so happy to see that they have some delightful cocktail rings, made by hand, and for some very good prices! They are the kind of thing that I could wear more often than the real-deal Swarovski ring. I am in love. Christmas is coming. . .

Wow, Payless?

It's amazing the things you find when you open your mind to the possibility of PVC. I will admit, I have not been in a Payless for years. I kind of forgot they existed. It was the place my mom would take us to get shoes because we outgrew them faster than they could have possibly worn out. I'm really not that much of a snob, I just... I don't know how to explain. Maybe I am a snob.

But, my husband is in law school and our money has reached a new level "tightness". So I can't afford to be snobby.

Another Dream (What Else is New?)

It is my dream someday to have an "escape home". I don't know why, because I never had one growing up in my family. My dad has always loved boats (a house boat is one of his dreams). I would much rather have an actual little house somewhere. I change the place all the time in my mind. Sometimes it is in France (I studied French in college and studied abroad there - huge francophile, here), some days it's the English countryside (my husband is a complete anglophile). Sometimes it's Costa Rica, where we went on our Honeymoon.

Wouldn't that be absolutely lovely, though? To have a place where you go to really relax and get away (anytime you want) and where you can indulge a different side of your design style. A special place that can hopefully be passed down for generations. I went to a bachelorette party at a cabin in Tahoe that was originally purchased by a girl's grandparents in the 40s (for a lot cheaper back then!).

It may never happen, but it is a nice dream. Where is your ideal escape home?

It Would Be Easy to Go Overboard

I found all these great purses at Target online tonight. I'm trying to keep an open mind about PVC.

By the way, I saw the two clutches in the bottom right corner in person at Target. I must say I was surprised by how much I liked them. I've always thought that I just couldn't do a purse that can't be slung over my shoulder. But these clutches are kind of the "large clutch" that I've seen people like the Olsen twins carrying around. So slim, yet surprisingly roomy inside. I may have to go back and snag one!

I am Getting Obsessed

I grew up in a warm climate. The winters never dipped below about 37 - at night. And even then it was big news the next day. Like, "My car had frost on the corner of the windshield this morning!!".
I went to college and now live in a place that gets snow. For a while I thought I hated snow, but now I don't think I can ever give it up. Coats and cute fall/winter clothes are just too worth it!

I am really into all these saturated jewel tones and I love colorful coats. Here is one I am currently dreaming about. Too bad these are going like hot cakes because of the ludicrous sale.