It's Official

Sorry for the grossness of this picture, but I am making a statement.

I threw away the crocs. Well, actually they are not even the Croc brand. Some grocery store knock-off that I had to buy for a job in Hawaii once (don't ask). I didn't mind them too much - hey, they really were comfortable - so I kept them (my roommate threw them away as soon as we quit that job). They are now about 2 and a half years old.

My husband saw them in the trash when he went to throw something away and he said "Oh. Crocs in the trash? Are they getting worn out or you just don't like them anymore?"

I said, "Um yeah. They are kind of old now. . . *pause* You know I can't wear those anymore!"

Yes, he knows as well as I do that with the new knowledge I have of style and taste, I cannot wear those anymore. I just can't. My tastes have changed, I suppose. I just can't see me wearing those anymore. I don't think I judge people who do wear them, but they aren't really me anymore. So I decided to make certain that I would not revert to my old ways.

Why, Yes I Have!

In response to the question: "Have you gained weight?"
I know. Not something you would like to hear or say. But I am trying to accept it and be OK with it. You see, it has been a struggle to get myself to gain some much-needed weight. I guess I'll just be honest about it - the day before my wedding, I was about 104 pounds. I am 5' 7". I am emerging from a period of my life spent under a cloud. I was depressed. Really depressed. And I also struggled with body image and weight issues. I have always been thin but when I graduated from high school, at my fighting weight and in great shape, I hung around 112-115. I had no issues back then. I am not entirely sure how this happened, but the depression I link to birth control pills. They may not be wholly to blame, but there is evidence out there and women who claim that it makes them depressed. Perhaps I am prone to it because my mother has taken anti-depressants for awhile.
I am very happy with my marriage and I have a good relationship with my husband, but I will say that college was less fun once I got married, so maybe that had something to do with it. In college, you are surrounded by friends and parties all the time. But when you get married, you live one person - a boy. No girlfriends to stay up late chatting or make complete idiots of yourself and laugh about it later. It's an adjustment, to say the least.
Anyway, I think I am better now for the most part. I mean, of course I still have "those days" but everyone does and I am more on track with what normal people feel, I think.

Last night at a friend's house, I weighed myself and I am 115. I will need to watch it a bit to stay here but I am telling myself that this is a good place to be, on the scale.